I like to think of myself as a generally positive person.
The emphasis is on the generally part, though.
The glass is always half full is a great mentality, but I’ve yet to find a person who can keep it up all the time.
Sometimes, it just seems the world has conspired against us. Sometimes we lose our confidence. Sometimes it seems our goals are slipping away and we cannot do anything about it.
This gloomy vibe hit me hard a couple of weeks ago. Interestingly, it was right after I came back from a vacation. Normally, I come back very energized, full of ideas and inspiration, I am bursting with confidence and cannot wait to start working on my stuff.
The full of ideas and inspiration part was true, but something was different. The action part was missing. I felt a little lost about the direction of my work as well as my blog. I started to question myself a little, I was frustrated with my perceived lack of progress, and I couldn’t find my motivation and strength to quickly snap out of it, as I usually do.
I even succumbed to a day of feeling very sorry about myself, which I hate. And that was basically the turning point – when lethargy gave way to annoyance with myself, I realized it was time to stop and do something about it.
I think we do have to go through these mental battles with ourselves from time to time. It’s OK to have worse days, to let the negative feelings run their course once in a while, but there must come a moment when you say, that’s enough.
And that’s when I turn to my trusted methods of getting out of a negative rut.
5 mindset tricks I use to get out of a negative rut
The glass IS actually half full most of the time
In most cases, it is perfectly possible to get out of a negative rut by switching your focus from the still-unfulfilled goals to the progress you’ve made.
It’s actually one of the most positive and important mindset tricks we can practice.
Go easy on yourself. Instead of analyzing what more needs to be done, realize and appreciate what you have already achieved. Sure, you may not be where you want to be. But where was the starting line? Can you still remember? What have you done since then?
I guarantee that you made progress even if you don’t feel like it. Even failures can be turned and viewed as important learning experiences.
It’s great to have ambitious, far-reaching goals. But it’s essential to break down those goals into the necessary small steps and appreciate when we make those small steps.
The ego boost
This is closely related to the above step, but is not totally interchangeable. When we focus on the progress part, we move from negative to objective. When we focus on the ego boost, we move into extra positive territory.
We all need an ego boost sometimes – from others as well as from ourselves.
I know that ego has negative associations, but in this case it simply means self-esteem and confidence.
And there’s nothing wrong with training our confidence – after all, it will be the thing that gives us strength to take risks and believe we are able to do big things.
One great ego-boosting thing is to reach out to friends and surround yourself with people who are able to boost your self-confidence. It doesn’t mean lining them up and instructing them to compliment us. But whenever I share my negative feelings or doubts about my skills or abilities with my loved ones, they always reach back to me with positive things that I can use to rebuild my confidence.
Another one of my favorite thing to do is to revisit my smiles folder. I cannot recommend it enough, it’s such a positive tool that can help me repair my broken self-esteem. Realizing that others look up to you, that you connected with them in a way is the best ego-boost ever (just do not tip over the healthy line).
Switching into strategist mode
Take a piece of paper.
Sit down with a cup of tea or glass of wine, whatever puts you in the mood.
Switch off your phone.
And start planning.
List your goals, list the necessary actions.
List your worries, the worst case scenarios. Come up with answers. Realize it can be solved.
Plan the projects, pair tasks.
Add deadlines.
This whole routine usually clears my mind, lifts off the negative fog, helps me refocus, sparks my creativity, makes me rediscover my inspiration and that ambition that drives me and helps my mind switch into action mode.
You know what? Fuck it, I’m gonna succeed
This sentence is my battle cry. It’s for times, when I don’t need kind words or nice encouraging compliments – I just need to shake myself and take on the world.
Even if the world is not against me or I don’t exactly have to prove myself to naysayers, it sometimes helps to get out your competitive, badass self.
Find your mantra. And some beats. Find some lyrics you resonate with. Use it to pump yourself up.
Like athletes do before a race. They actively fire themselves up in order to do their best. Find your inner athlete.
Focus on helping someone else
Sometimes all it takes is to switch the focus from myself to others – put aside my own issues and try to help a friend with something.
I find this trick has 3 very powerful benefits:
- It just takes my mind off my problems. Often what we need is a break and some distance in order to see things clearly again.
- Helping someone is the best feeling ever. The feel-good vibes will often carry me through my own challenges as well.
- Solving others’ problems is always easier, of course. But it can help us switch on that strategizing, problem-solving mode we need in our lives as well. And being able to help others or solve challenges can also feel us more confident in our skills as well.
What are your tricks to get out of a negative rut?
