So far this year, I’ve bought the following clothes:
- An oversized alpaca wool sweater
- A lightweight trench coat
- A summer hat
- A silk striped shirt
- A black swimsuit
- Black pants
- Grey pants
- Striped pants (I was really out of pants)
- A grey sweater
- Leather sneakers
Altogether – 10 pieces in 10 months. And while I usually do not care for the minimalist numbers game, considering that, according to statistics, the average person in the US and UK buys 60-70 pieces a year, this is definitely in the low range when it comes to shopping. Not extremely minimal, but not too much either.
These numbers are not the result of a shopping ban or any kind of shopping challenge. I don’t do capsule wardrobes or put limits on how many items I can have in my closet or buy in a season/year.
These are simply the items that passed my strict shopping requirements.
They may not be much – but they are enough for me.
Living in a haul culture
The paradox of 21st century shopping habits is that while most of us shop more than ever before, the “I have nothing to wear” feeling hasn’t gone away, in fact, we actually do not wear most of the stuff we own. According to research, most people only wear 40-50% of their wardrobes regularly (some studies put it at 70-80%). A considerable amount of unworn clothes still has their tags on.
There are many explanations for why and how our shopping habits got so out of hand from the psychological and stress factors to the immense pressure of marketing. One of the things I think has a great impact on this is the haul culture we’re living in.
In the last couple of decades in popular culture, and increasingly in our collective consciousness, the image of a successful shopping trip started to equal piles and piles of shopping boxes. In the 90s, it was influenced by Julia Roberts strutting down Rodeo Drive with so many shopping bags, she could only carry them with two hands (or later with the help of a porter) or Cher in Clueless with her enormous, colorful, Fendi and co. shopping bags. Nowadays, it’s shaped by the hundreds of thousands of YouTube haul videos.
If we shop, we must shop a lot. No one makes a video on a single, tiny purchase. The message is clear: the more, the better.
I readily admit I’m not totally immune to this psychological lure of more. I love unboxing a beauty order with all the little bits and pieces or a bunch of books I ordered from Amazon. But I had to realize in recent years that it’s not a totally healthy attitude.
The main problem with this “more culture” is the relatively short lifespan of our euphoria over a new purchase. We buy it, we’re elated about it, but then that feeling evaporates and the new quickly becomes the old. The more we shop, the less we’re able to extend that happiness – it lasts for less and less time and if we want to rediscover that feeling, we turn to another new shopping round.
Related: Why retail therapy never really works (in the long run)
Another problem is that because shopping became such a norm, we don’t spend enough time and effort on thinking about the actual, individual items. That’s why a lot of people are unsatisfied with the current state of their closets. They end up with a bunch stuff that they cannot use and a mental breakdown in front of the closet every single morning because they didn’t think through the practicality of that purchase, whether they truly need or love it, whether it will work with their existing clothes, whether it really fits their body, style, or lifestyle.
Anyone who wants to get out of this vicious cycle and create a wardrobe with clothes they actually wear, must break up with this single focus on quantity.
The two most important things we have to do are making a pledge not to settle and embracing enough.
Plan, think, and never settle
All the items I welcome to my wardrobe must fit into one of these categories:
+ Need – something I definitely need, usually because my existing item is broken/too worn and cannot be repaired or desperately need to be replaced.
+ Planned – Every season I make a mental list of things I’d like to add to my wardrobe. The list is a result of careful research and planning and sometimes, if I don’t find the perfect item, I carry it over to the next year.
+ Total, instant love – These are the items that weren’t planned and usually do not fall into the absolute need list. But they are so perfect and fit so effortlessly into my wardrobe or style that I don’t have any regrets over buying them. This category, though, needs to be carefully monitored or controlled. Only a few pieces survive my strict shopping questions and requirements.
The common denominator in all three is the principle of never settling. No matter how much I might need something or how long I’ve been looking for it, if it’s not perfect, not good quality, not the material I like (mostly natural fabrics) I simply do not buy it.
I don’t settle, because, in my experience, settling is what leads to those catastrophic statistics about unused clothes. Just to bring a real-life example: I’ve been looking for a black swimsuit for almost three years. I knew what I wanted and held out until I found the perfect one this summer.
Know what you want, set up your requirements, and do not feel like you’re missing out if you wait for the perfect one. Read about my selection criteria and the questions I always ask before a purchase in this post.
Embrace “enough”
Don’t think that my 10-item shopping list is due to some kind of disinterest in fashion or style, or a general disinterest in shopping on my part.
I like buying new clothes. I like fashion. I enjoy playing dress up and coming up with new outfits. I spend quite a time on browsing websites and looking for clothes.
But there’s a very definite point in my shopping process, where most of my planned purchases die.
Actually, there are two points. 90% of items I like fall through when I click on the details and materials tab and see they are made of 100% plastic. That’s one of my strict criteria I don’t compromise on.
But out of the surviving 10%, only 1 or 2 actually make it into my wardrobe. And this is due to me knowing that I have enough clothes and do not need to settle.
The last questions I always have to face are: do I have something eerily similar? Is the other one better? Do I really need this?
Most of the time, the answer is no: I already have the better version, so I really don’t need this.
Why would I need a 6th totally same black top? Can people tell the difference? Can I tell the difference?
To be honest, instead of constantly cloning my closet, I’d rather wait for something unique.
Another powerful impact of the I have enough mentality is that I don’t need to judge my wardrobe in terms of quantity anymore. I don’t need more and more new clothes to be comfortable with my clothes and style.
Style does not equal new clothes every single week. There’s no need to feel bad about wearing the same clothes over and over again. I practically live in the same jeans all winter. I alternate between three pairs of shoes. I have one winter coat.
And I feel good in them every single time because they are perfect for me. I like the creativity of styling them differently, of coming up with new and new outfits. The fact that I wear them to death means I made a good buying choice.
I really wish more fashion influencers would promote this way of thinking. I’d be much more interested in photos and videos on how they wear the same items again and again. That’s the essence of a true fashion style and creativity for me.
Don’t be afraid to embrace enough. We don’t always need more and more – what we need is less but better.
One perfect item is more than enough.
