In my experience, tasks and activities can be grouped into two kinds of categories:
- The do list – everything we have to do or we would like to do either today, in the near future, or at least someday (aka the bucket list).
- The stop list – everything else that prevents us from focusing and doing the first category (aka procrastination, delaying, blocks, or just the world is against us)
Most people, self-help books, and motivational experts focus on the first list. We write extensive to-do lists, use a myriad of apps, frantically search for productivity tips on the Internet, and beat ourselves up when we are still unable to finish things on time and are unable to get over the inactivity/creative blocks.
I’m all for trying to maximize our energies and find the best personal ways to motivate ourselves. But sometimes, it’s important to step back, see, and analyze what exactly is keeping us from focusing on the positive, proactive tasks.
What’s the negative that’s dragging us back?
So, I propose this: instead of writing a 100th to do list, let’s try something different and come up with a To Stop list.
The To Stop List
A to stop list is a list of things that we should stop doing in order to achieve our goals.
As simple as that.
It’s a way to get real about bad habits, distractions, and misplaced focuses.
While it may seem counter-intuitive to spend time on listing negative things to boost our productivity and mental focus, in my experience it’s just as useful as coming up with a list of goals, positive things, and values.
A lot of lifestyle philosophies and movements, including minimalism, advise us to focus on the values most important to us and try to cut out all distractions and stuff that don’t bring any value or hinder us. But in order to do that, to find the most important life values, we have to systematically comb through our lives and weed out everything else.
With a to stop list you can identify activities that cost time, money, and are not useful in any sense. Or maybe, as we cannot cut out each and every bad task we must do, we can come up with a better organizing structure in our life.
And that’s where the to stop list can be a valuable practical help. I’m all about practicality and I’m not a big fan of too spiritual, “looks good on paper, but how exactly shall we do that” life advice.
On the other hand, minimalism and simple living are not universal, one size fits all lifestyles. Or at least they shouldn’t be in my opinion. What I find valuable might be completely useless to someone else and vice versa. And that’s OK.
Don’t try to follow dumb rules just to fit into a box or please others. Find your own rules – they’re just as good as anyone else’s.
In that spirit, I’m not saying the following list is useful for everyone. It’s my own most basic to stop list, put together based on my experience and my own values. Take the tips you like. Disregard those you don’t agree with.
But definitely take some inspiration and write your own list. You can do one for your work or business, your social life, leisure time, household chores, or even your health and fitness.
Find your biggest time and energy wasters and be done with them. Be more clear about how you spend your time and how you can spend it better. And re-evaluate it frequently to track your progress.
Things on my to stop list
+ Multitasking. Looks good in theory, never works in real life. Focus on just one thing at a time.
+ Checking my phone during work or when I’m with friends or family. It’s the biggest distraction ever. Better to leave it somewhere, like in my bag, where I cannot even reach it.
+ Setting unrealistic expectations. Writing 5 blog post in a day might seem ambitious, but it’s also a dumb goal that I practically never reach. Realistic goal setting is actually the most critical factor for a productive, and a generally happy life.
+ Comparing myself to others. Inspiration? Yes. Motivation? Yes. Comparison – worthless.
+ Treating a day as one big time block. It doesn’t work for me, I have to set up concrete time block for different activities in order to focus best. And that includes blog time, work time, phone time, gym time, even reading time.
+ Worrying about things not under my control. If I can’t do anything about it, no point in thinking and stressing about it. Just let it go.
+ Thinking I cannot succeed. Thinking why me? Why it would happen to me? The right question instead: Why not?
+ Shopping for newer and newer things instead of using up old ones. Especially true for beauty products. Implement the 1-in, 1-out rule (and not in throwing one completely good out and buying another one, but using everything up).
+ Delaying small tasks. If it takes 3 minutes or less, do it immediately.
+ Checking my emails first thing in the morning. It can wait until I’m done with my morning routine and officially start work.
+ Drinking too much coffee. Substitute one with green tea.
+ Whining about my body and still missing gym sessions. Treat gym time as sacred and set it in stone.
+ Aiming for perfect. Aim for great and done instead.
What would you put on your own to stop list?
Love what you said about worrying, I tend to worry about things even after there’s nothing left I can do to fix things and it’ so pointless!
Julia // The Sunday Mode
I know! I’m trying to become more laid-back and let pointless things go, but it’s not easy. Have you read the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson? It’s not completely about this issue, but still helped me a lot to let go of unnecessary worries.
It’s weird that I never thought of a ‘to-stop’ list especially when I relate to most of the points listed above. This is a really smart idea, nice post 🙂
Yes, it may be a little counter-intuitive:) But it’s useful!
Thank you very much!! xx