First of all, happy December, aka my favorite time of the year!
I’m a Christmas person through and through and excitedly await this season for months, but I also know that not everyone shares this feeling – the closer we get to the holiday season, the more often the topic of holiday stress comes up.
I’d like to differentiate between two kinds of sources for holiday stress though. This time of the year is legitimately difficult for a lot of people – instead of a season filled with joy, big dinners, gifts, and laughter, for some it’s a time of increased loneliness, depression, alienation, and anxiety due to family problems, mental health issues, or financial and existential problems. I think it’s incredibly important to acknowledge this and pay special attention to those who can be the most vulnerable during this time.
But there’s another type of stress, increasingly affecting a large part of society, even those who are in the privileged position of being able to buy gifts, spend time with family, and in theory enjoy the holiday season. It’s brought on by a growing pressure to have the perfect holidays, to be at myriad places at the same time, or to meet internal and external expectations.
I’m not saying this type of stress is not legitimate. But I think this one can be at least managed. The three most important ways to do this are:
+ Identify the source of stress
Being aware of stress factors is essential for getting over them. And you gotta be incredibly honest with yourself if you want to have a chance at a less stressful holiday season. If you worry about the financial aspects, draw some boundaries. We always discuss with my friends and family the limits of Christmas spending. It may be a cliché, but how much you spend is not indicative of your love towards others.
If you hate crowds (I definitely do), shop online. If you hate cooking, order something or divide the dinner hosting responsibilities. If you don’t have the time to buy and address Christmas cards, send an email or call the most important people. Identify what causes you stress and don’t be ashamed about it.
+ Prepare in advance as much as you can
Preparing in advance and trying to be as organized as I can is definitely one of my stress coping mechanisms. I’ve collected all my tips on how to be more organized to keep your sanity at Christmas in this post, hope it helps.
It’s not a guarantee that everything will go as planned, but you can at least minimize the risk factors.
+ Please rethink what Christmas is really about
This may be the single most important mental task we need to do in order to truly enjoy the holiday season. And it’s also one of the most difficult ones.
It’s difficult because the world makes it difficult. We’re constantly bombarded with picture-perfect Christmas images, Christmas ads, and glittery Instagram pictures. We’re always pressured to do more, buy more – and this often leads to disappointment as reality rarely meets the glossy picture Christmas movies paint.
Resisting these pressures is not easy. But it must be done because otherwise, we just simply lose sight of what Christmas should really be about.
When I think back at past Christmases, the first images that pop into my mind are my family gathering around the Christmas tree. Christmas music. The advent wreath that I made from scratch. The smell of gingerbread and cinnamon. The Christmas lights in a dark room. Watching Home Alone after a big dinner. A slightly crooked Christmas tree we got one year and how we adored its imperfection.
Not the crowds, not the annoying jingles, not the individual gifts (though I love giving gifts), not what went wrong.
We must focus on these moments and really appreciate them while they last. Make these the central theme of your Christmas. Take a big breath and don’t let small annoyances ruin your celebration.
And to hell with all the picture-perfect Christmas postcards. Embrace the imperfections and laugh at them – together.
At the beginning of the holiday season, I always put together a list of what I’m most excited about or what I definitely want to do. This little exercise definitely helps me focus on the things that really matter to me. Some of them are simple moments, others are more exquisite, but they are all special in a way.
Don’t forget, waiting for a special moment is half the fun.
And please, share with me all the moments, activities, or traditions you cherish this season – I love learning about how others spend the holidays.
My slow Christmas bucket list
Getting out the special Christmas scents
I love how deeply some scents are associated with feelings and events, so one of the very first things I do to prepare for the holidays is to burn my special Christmas scents – some Christmas-themed candles or essential oil blends of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and sweet orange. Such a simple thing, but this puts me into Christmas mode in an instant.
Creating DIY Christmas decor
I’m not a huge arts and crafts person, but Christmas definitely brings out this hidden side of me. We usually go to a flower/Christmas market at the beginning of December with my Mom and/or friends to buy simple wreath bases, candles, ribbons, small lights, and various other craft materials and then spend the first Saturday creating decorations. I love making Christmas wreaths, but the ones I made last year and the year before are still perfectly good, so I’ll probably make some door or table decorations this year.
If you need some minimal, Scandinavian-themed decoration ideas, click here and here.
Christmas prep get-together
Even with a more minimal and simple approach to the holidays, there are a lot of tasks that need to be done from food preparations and baking to decorating and gift making. We can look at them as chores or we can turn these chores into fun events (a classic case of perspective shift).
One of our new traditions is to hold a kind of Christmas prep party with family and friends. We get together mid-December for an afternoon and create stuff together. No special planning or party essentials are needed – OK, maybe some mulled wine. Last year, we baked cookies together and made ginger syrup, cinnamon syrup, and chocolate liquor, which were then put into cute bottles like these and were some of the gifts I gave to friends.
You can throw a prep party to make homemade gifts or Christmas décor, bake gingerbread men or houses, or create holiday cards. The bottom line is: turn these tasks into a source of fun instead of a source of stress.
A day-trip to Vienna
During the last few years, we always went to London for a couple of days during December. Budapest is beautiful in the holiday season, but it’s nowhere near as festive as some bigger cities, so I’ve always enjoyed these trips. This year, we’ve mixed it up a little – we went to London in November and we’ll do a shorter day trip to nearby Vienna to check out how the neighbors do Christmas there.
Shoebox gifting
I love participating in a Hungarian Christmas campaign, called Shoebox action (I think there are varieties of this campaign all over the world) in which everyone prepares small gift boxes for children in need.
Thinking about others and the fact that what we often call a source of stress (buying gifts, preparing for the holidays) is, in reality, a blessing and a privilege is a powerful way to shift your perspective about the real importance of Christmas.
The Happy Holidays calls
I don’t do holiday cards, but I do holiday emails and calls. You can look at it as an obligatory task, or as a very good way to connect with people you don’t keep in touch with all the time.
A festive evening wrapping presents
Ok, to be honest, it’s more like an hour because we have limits on both how much we spend and to whom we give gifts, but I still like to treat this as a special holiday event. I turn up the music, burn a Christmas-scented candle, and wrap all my presents. I usually use simple brown or white paper with some DIY cards, wraps, and pine tree as a decoration, but I’m quite intrigued by the idea of using newspaper this year. I’m very far from being a wrapping pro, my presents are usually slightly crooked or asymmetric, but who cares, they were still made with love and care.
A low-key, chill Christmas party with friends
Getting together a bigger friend group is always tricky date-wise. That’s why we always schedule a date around Christmas weeks and months in advance and everyone treats it as sacred. We don’t really exchange gifts, just meet, eat, drink, talk, laugh. Don’t think every Christmas party must be crowded and spectacular, though if going big is what makes you happy – go for it. I’m definitely looking forward to hosting a bigger party next year in our new flat but I equally love our simple, chill get-togethers. Just find the time for the people you love.
Christmas Eve walk
December 24 is the most important Christmas day in Hungary. This is when we have a big Christmas dinner and exchange gifts and the whole day is spent preparing for the night. Amidst all that preparation, we still find some time to get out of the house and go for a walk in the city – taking a stroll around the nicely decorated streets, drinking hot chocolate, and eating a small piece of cake in a café.
A Christmas morning with books
As long as I can remember, one thing was always sure about Christmas: there would be books under the Christmas tree. I love both getting and giving them and cannot wait for Christmas morning to be spent in my pajamas under a cozy blanket, reading one of my new books.
Food, food, and some more food
From making the special recipes reserved for Christmas time to preparing edible gifts, food plays a big part in our family holiday traditions. It can be such a challenge nowadays to get families together at the table due to busy schedules and commitments (even more if family members live far away from each other), so these occasions should really be cherished.
A relaxing spa afternoon
I’m quite lucky to be living in a city full of thermal baths, and there’s nothing better than spending a full, relaxing afternoon in one of the beautiful spas of Budapest – preferably one with an outdoor, hot water pool. We make this a family event as well and try to organize our schedules so we can spend more time together.
What’s on your December bucket list?
