The subtle art of not giving a f*ck

I’m sure a lot of you have seen this book on Instagram. It’s actually marketing genius – the color contrasts of orange and black on the cover, the splash patterns, and the clever title. And, of course dropping some F bombs can also increase your edgy coolness factor.

It went through Instagram and the blogosphere like a virus and I caught it. I usually like this kind of business/motivational reads, but I’ll be honest – no matter how I try it, I’m not completely immune to the above-mentioned marketing hacks either. Yes, this book kinda looks cool.

Is that shallow to say?

But to be fair, after reading it, I realized it’s really much much more than just an empty marketing hack.

First of all, Mark Manson writes really well. He actually writes so well that he wouldn’t even need to use this many fucks in his writing (a bit too many even for me and I don’t speak like a princess).

But I also get the vulgarity. It adds a lot to its brutal honesty. Because it’s not the feel good about yourself, everything’s gonna be fine, just do these 10 steps kind of self-help book. It hits you in the face. Gets you thinking. And hopefully, helps you make some decisions about the kind of life you want to have.

Because life’s a short one. And a difficult one. Full of problems, self-doubt, setbacks, injustices. And what makes life even more difficult? If we live it for the wrong reasons. Then for sure we are set for some major disappointments.

Granted, it’s not exactly easy in the times we live. We are surrounded by too much information, stimuli, and anxiety. It’s difficult to cut through all that noise.

So, choose your struggles. Get real about your priorities. Decide what’s important and what really isn’t worth your attention/time/involvement. We are always choosing something, in every second of our lives, so at least be aware of that and try to make more conscious choices.

So, in that spirit, these are the things I’m trying to not give a fuck about.

– Fear of failure. I could have just written fear in general, but if I’m being real about this, fear is not a thing in itself – it’s more like fear of failure. It’s a powerful feeling. However, what is even more powerful is accepting that failure is OK. It’s actually very liberating when you accept that things might not go the way you plan and you still decide to try.

– Vanity metrics. Likes, followers, material status symbols.

– Other random people’s lives. There is a big difference between jealousy and inspiration.  Be inspired by what others have achieved. Use it to push yourself. But don’t assume their lives are perfect or so much better than yours. It’s the most useless activity ever, because no matter how much you obsess over it, that in itself won’t change your life one bit.

Instead, I try to focus on

+ Experiences. Memories. Good times with friends and family. Trying and learning new things. Traveling. See my minimalism manifesto for more.

+ How to be the best version of myself. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Nobel-prize winner when I grew up. As things now stand, I probably won’t be (though never say never). Does that make me a failure? Probably not. I push myself, set goals, but also learn to rewrite what success means for me, personally.

+ Time. Too much obsession with the passing of time is unhealthy. However, being aware that our time is limited can be motivating. It makes me wanna spend it more wisely.

+ Knowing my boundaries and pushing them. It’s a strange game, terrifying, but also very satisfying at the same time.

So, what are the things you learnt not to give a fuck about? Let me know your thoughts, xx