Photo by Maëliss Demaison on Unsplash
Almost 2 years ago, I wrote a post called 17 things that aren’t worth your time. Since then, it became one of my most read posts ever, so probably a lot of people could relate to it.
We’re often so pressed for time and yet spend valuable energy on things that add no value whatsoever to our life, or worse, just take a toll on our productivity, mental health, or happiness. It’s not easy to be strong, to say no, to be strategic about what we spend our precious time on.
Letting go of things has become an important part of the mindfulness and slow living discussion. But as much as I’m a proponent of this attitude – this is only one side of the coin. In order to get the full picture, we also need to talk about the things that are at the other end of that spectrum.
Things that are worth our time and effort.
Things we should actually focus on more.
Things we may neglect sometimes.
This list below of things is my personal list of those things. Some are there because even though they are important to me, I need the occasional reminder to put more energy into them. Because no matter how difficult, time-consuming, or scary they seem, on the long run, focusing on them will be good for me.
Other things I’m working hard on or I’m actually good at, and I really wish more people would do the same.
And some things I believe are just universally important and we’d live in a much better world if we spent more time on them.
Let me know, what you’d add to this list.
7 things we should spend more time and effort on
Learning
Learning for career advancement, but personal fulfillment as well. Learning new skills, new insights, and new facts. Learning to become more knowledgeable, to gain confidence, to change perspectives, to boost your creativity, to understand the world better. Whether it’s through books, podcasts, videos, online classes, formal education, real-life experiences, debates, or discussions, it’s important to remain curious and never stop spending time on learning new things.
Listening to others
This is one of my biggest pet peeves (and frankly, often a source of sadness). I know we all live in our tiny bubble and we all have ongoing issues, but this shouldn’t be an excuse for being totally ignorant and self-absorbed assholes. As I wrote in this post (yes, I dedicated a whole post to this topic): Hearing is usually an automatic, physical process. Listening requires a conscious effort and focus. With listening comes understanding, knowledge, empathy, new perspectives, deeper connections, and better social skills. We should definitely practice it more.
Thinking
I know it sounds like the lamest and most banal advice ever, but I’m quite convinced we’re not spending enough time thinking. Not thinking about what to eat for dinner, when to go grocery shopping, what Sally said about John at lunch, or how HBO totally fucked up the Game of Thrones finale (though it’s a legitimate issue), but thinking in the deeper sense.
Thinking is an important mental process that helps us reflect, create, analyze, solve problems, understand, make better decisions. So, take the time to think. Think about your life, your goals, your experiences, and issues you care about.
The most transformative changes in our personal life as well as in the world happen by thinking about them.
Prioritizing our health
Self care may be a trendy buzzword nowadays, but in my experience one of the first things we let go of when things get busy is the focus on our physical and mental health. How many exercise classes have you skipped because you don’t have the time? How many doctor’s appointments got forgotten because there was always something ‘more important’? How many meals have we eaten from a box between two meetings because there was no time to properly sit down and have a healthy lunch? How many sleepless nights have gone by because we didn’t prioritize stress management?
Mindful living must start at appreciating health and wellbeing, because if we sacrifice it, we’ll lose everything else we also value on the long run. One simple practical tip (that helped me with this mindset change): try to do at least one thing for your health every single day and make a note of it every night. It definitely helped me focus on my wellbeing.
Making friends as adults
It was so easy when we were children – you spent 20 minutes together, shared a toy, and, bam, you were fast friends. How come it’s so much more difficult when we’re adults?
The answer is probably that it requires a lot more time and effort. We need to let our guards down, be open to new people or even make the first move, and yes, be a little vulnerable. Set aside time to get to know each other, set aside time to let the relationship grow. Even if we have to simultaneously juggle a career, family, hobbies, other commitments. But at the end, gaining a new friend will be totally worth it.
Having deep(er) conversations
Another activity that seems to become more scarce as we grow up. How many hours did we spend discussing the great questions of life in school? I don’t think we became dumber, and yet many of our relationships are stuck at a what have you been up to, small talk level.
My favorite part of friends and family time is when we move past the catch-up phase and delve deep into interesting topics. This is how you really get to know each other, not to mention it can be inspiring and intellectually stimulating. We just need to set aside the time, be willing to listen, and think.
Sometimes deep conversations are not about agreeing about everything. But I don’t think we should shy away from discussing controversial issues. This is the only way to step out of our bubble and see other perspectives, which is essential to formulating an opinion. Plus, a healthy, civilized debate never hurt anyone.
Practicing empathy
Just looking around the world we live in, I really do not need to overexplain this, right? Judging is so easy. Making the effort to understand others, to imagine ourselves in their situation takes a conscious effort. One our world desperately needs.
